My beautiful situation

I remember the words of an old praise song, "Beautiful for situation, the joy of the whole earth, is Mount Zion on the sides of the North, the city of the Great King." This comes from Psalm 48 in the King James version.

I'm thinking the hilltop or mountain where Jerusalem sits really isn't that spectacular, what the Psalmist celebrates is what the mountain represents, the fact that God chose to make his name dwell in the heart of the nation of Israel.

I celebrated this morning the situation where God has made his name dwell in my life. Outwardly a mediocre situation. There are stories of people who maintain faith in incredible adversity, and stories of people who are abundantly  blessed, my story would be neither of those. But yet I perceive a glory in this mediocrity, and I celebrate that God has chosen to dwell with me in these circumstances. Oh beautiful the situation where God has placed me, because it is God who has placed me here, and abides with me in it.


A dull morning

Drab and dreary, I grumble. But I looked again. Indeed there is the glory of light behind the fog; the delicate tracery of branches against the light.
Lord, may I ever be aware of your glory, even veiled and hidden as it may be today.

Prayer -- we can't know what will happen

Sometimes we pray and God lays on us the thing we really wanted or needed, or lifts away the thing we wanted to get rid of. This is what we usually mean when we say "God answered my prayer."

But God doesn't always do this. Sometimes I pray and the circumstances don't change but I find myself calmer, at peace with the situation. This too is an answer to prayer.

And sometimes too, I pray, the circumstances I prayed about don't change, and how I feel about those circumstances doesn't change either. This is when prayer feels most unanswered. But maybe the answer is "trust and wait."

But let me not base my strategy of prayer, or my desire to pray, on thinking one and only one of these three things is the norm. Paul Miller presented this issue in the first chapter of A Praying Life. He's camping with his daughter, and she tells him she's lost her contact lens. He looks at the ground covered with leaves and twigs and says "lets pray." His daughter says "what good will that do," in despair because her prayers for her autistic sister to speak had not been answered. Paul prayed silently "Lord, this would be a good time to come through," then prayed aloud to find the lost lens, and then they saw it, sitting on top of a leaf.

Paul and his daughter saw God respond by revealing the missing contact, showing them he could and would answer some prayers with a quick fix, even though in the situation with the autistic daughter, he was not doing so.

Whatever your circumstances are, the important thing: God is with you


Read a good online devotional this morning:
Now here's what I want you to remember today, my friend. Whatever your circumstances are, those circumstances are not nearly as important to you as the fact that God is with you. So if like Joseph, you're going through some tough times today, remember that before we learn about the tough times, we learn that God is with us.
This comes from Woodrow Krull at gotandem.com. The complete message is here: He's looking at Genesis 39, how after being sold into slavery, Joseph prospered as Potiphar's slave, only to later be arrested when Potiphar's wife lusts for him and he refused her.
The point is we cannot think of circumstances as the indicator whether God cares -- when we learn that God cares whatever the circumstances, we can find good things where we are, just as Joseph enjoyed a time of near prosperity while enslaved.


Thank you God for assurance in the night

Lord,

Last night in my twilit thoughts you blessed me.
I cannot now remember what I was thinking as I lay there awake but not fully lucid,
But I do know I felt assured that you have arranged things in great detail, and you are fully in control, so I thank you.

So often those twilit moments of not sleeping, yet not lucid lead me to worry or confusion. But last night they led me to confidence and trust.

Shadow of the past

Wednesday began badly. I stumbled over the remnant of an old emotional conflict, like an unexploded World War I shell found in a Flanders field. Why is my heart still divided over this? Hadn't I learned this lesson long before? I committed my heart to God, but still grumbled in my soul that I was so ready for this old thing to be just a memory. 

Then that evening I had a discussion with a friend about prayer and about emotional honesty. The sting of feeling stuck in the old conflict lifted. I remembered that in my conflicts, whether old or new, God is with me.

Seeing God's power

Wouldn't it be inspiring to have the experience David had in Psalm 18?

His back was to the wall:
     The cords of death entangled me;
     the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.
     The cords of the grave coiled around me;
     the snares of death confronted me. (vs 4-5)

He cried out to God:
     In my distress I called to the LORD
     I cried to my God for help. (v 6)

Then God answered,
     The earth trembled and quaked,
     and the foundations of the mountains shook;
     they trembled because he was angry. (v 7)

     He parted the heavens and came down, (v 9)
     
     The Lord thundered from heaven;
     The voice of the Most High resounded.
     He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies,
     great bolts of lightning and routed them.
     The valleys of the sea were exposed
     and the foundations of the earth laid bare 
     at your rebuke, O Lord,
     at the blast of breath from your nostrils. (v 13-15)

The challenging thing for me is realizing David never saw this directly. He understood who God was, and believed in his power; but while he did know God to answer prayer, he never saw this ultimate answer of God's power shaking the world and opening the seas. But he still described it, because he saw it with the eyes of faith.

Lord, give me eyes of faith to see you in all your power hearing my prayers, coming to my side against the enemies of my heart.

Make me content, O Lord

Make me content, O Lord, for I come to you.
I seek your joy in the trials that come today,
For surely true contentment is in you,
not in the unlikely chance of attaining my "if only ..." list.


On contentment

The standard view of contentment is it comes from circumstances. If you have more good things in your life than bad things, you can be content. If you have more bad things in your life, you are not content.

But I think Scripture teaches something else entirely. Contentment comes when we put our trust in God's presence and his promises. Knowing that God is with us and is working for good in all circumstances gives us contentment even in the midst of really hard circumstances. Now I know I'm not really good at being content in hard circumstances yet, but the possibility does exist.

Earlier posts about contentment

Dealing with emotions

When I'm feeling something you know isn't right, what do I do?

1) Pretending I don't feel it because "I'm above that," is self deception.
2) Telling myself what I feel is wrong is a start. But expecting the feelings to go away when I finish telling myself it is wrong isn't realistic.
3) Telling myself I'm a bad person for feeling it is perhaps a good start, yet doesn't help me change either. And if I tell myself I'm a bad person, worse than other people for it, that becomes dangerous self-condemnation. Am I fallible, prone to selfishness and needing help? Yes. But that's not the end of the story.
4) Telling God what I feel and asking for his help is the best option. His ability and willingness to help is greater than my need.

An earlier post on dealing with emotions

Lord, I come


God, you said I should come to you, you said you want me in your world, you say you have a place for me, a job for me, and gifts to give me. I don't get it, I'm a pretty mediocre guy. Most days I really just want to be entertained. I want to be both the center of attention and the guy who doesn't have to do anything. I want what I can't have, that wouldn't do me good if I had it. But you say to come, so I come. Do what you want to do with me.


The uncertainties of faith


The Bible says the greatest and most powerful being in the universe loves us and is on our side. Yet it adds that this great, powerful and loving being is not always greatly concerned about our ease and comfort.
The great lover of our souls sometimes is disturbingly slow in giving us what we want. Worse, sometimes he refuses and brings the exact opposite of what we want. But these disappointments have their compensations. The most deserving soul that ever lived had his life cut short by a wicked and barbaric execution. Yet then he came out of the grave.
In our lives God can demonstrate great power and intricate planning to suddenly lift us safely out of an impending disaster, or cut short a major or minor trial. Other times he leaves us in the disaster with only a promise that it will be better in the end, and a surprising calmness that as bad as this gets, the promises are still precious. Why make promises when he could just deliver us?
What then is prayer? Going to him with all the messiness of our lives, acknowledging that the messiness is greater than our ability to distract ourselves or keep going in our own willpower, to celebrate the certainty of the promises while embracing the uncertainty of how those promises will be implemented in our here and now. And thankfulness for the unique and unpredictable path he's led us on up to now. And worship, that his greatness and love and perfection can never be celebrated enough, even as we remain uncertain what he will do next.

Something new in Scripture

Scripture startles us when words we've read dozens of times before take on new meaning. Sometimes its "I never realized it said THAT before!". Other times it is "wait, THAT'S really what it says? I've misunderstood all these years."

I've had one of these experiences this week. It began on Saturday, when several different people wrote about the truism that God won't call us to something we cannot handle. The conclusion was this is wrong, God calls people to things they cannot handle all the time. He wants to show us he can handle things we cannot handle on our own. After all, doesn't Scripture say we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us?

But Monday morning, I thought again about that idea. Does that really mean I could become a missionary pilot or a brain surgeon because Christ empowers me? No, I thought, the scope of the promise probably is not that large. Yes God could supernaturally give me the ability of a pilot or a brain surgeon, but he probably won't, and it is not a lack of faith on my part to expect that he won't.

Then I thought of looking up that verse. Where does it say I can do all things through Christ? I found it in Philippians 4:13. But when I looked at the passage, I wondered if I'd been taking it out of context. In verse 11 and 12 Paul is talking about contentment. "I have learned the secret of being content in every and any situation."  I thought it would have been more coherent for Paul to have said in verse 13 "I can endure all things" rather than "I can do all things."  Then I noticed the Good News Translation says something like this: "I have the strength to face all conditions." This fits the context better.

Then I looked at the Greek. I am not much of a Greek scholar, but I have a Greek version on my computer that lets me look up words in a lexicon. It turns out that the Greek behind "I can do all things" has only one verb, and the lexicons define it mostly as "to be able." You cannot say in English, "I am able all things" but that seems like what Paul actually said in Greek. I also noticed this morning as I wrote this up that the latest NIV version (the 2011 revision) says "I can do all this," not "I can do everything." So I'm concluding the version I've known all these years, "I can do all things" is inaccurate. Paul actually means "whatever happens to me, I can be content."

Does this mean I should go back to believing God won't call me to something I cannot handle? I don't think so. There are lots of stories about God doing surprising things when people ask for help. Jesus fed multitudes from a few loaves and a few fishes. God gave a victory in battle to a king who sent the praise choir ahead of the army. But God also gives surprising contentment in hard circumstances that are not instantly removed. Joseph did not despair in the Egyptian prison, Jeremiah and Ezekiel faithfully proclaimed God's word, and never saw a significant response from most of their audience.

Praying honestly like a child

Last month I read a good book on prayer, A Praying Life by Paul Miller. One of the things he said is we should come to God like a little child, and say exactly what is on our minds. Often we don't do that because we think we need to pray "correctly." He also says prayer is often the last bastion of legalism. But if we don't pray what is really on our hearts, then the real us does not meet the real God.

If Paul Miller is right that prayer is relating to God like a child, telling him exactly what we feel and think, where then is the place for public prayer? How can we present to God the secrets of our hearts in the same room with several others, some of whom may be good friends, but some are merely acquaintances? Are fellow Christians mere acquaintances? Are we not brothers and sisters? Yet in our present condition, where it is hard enough to tell God honestly what is on our hearts, when it is hard to tell our spouses and dearest friends absolutely everything, is it not realistic to feel that adding the presence of brothers and sisters that we do not know well is going to increase the difficulty of being honest before God? I’d say that group prayer with people we have not yet learned to be close with is the last bastion of the last bastion of legalism, the last place to keep saying what people expect us to say instead of what’s really on our hearts.

But public prayers and praises obviously have their place. The Psalms were written to be performed in the Temple. Psalm 22 is a personal heart cry to God, but it was written as a choral piece. “To the Choirmaster” the beginning says, “according to the Dove of the Dawn”. How many times do you think the choir had to rehearse David’s heart cry to God before they got it right? Maybe Dove of the Dawn was one of those hard tunes with lots of sharps and flats and key changes in the middle.

What could happen if we in groups bared our hearts before God, as David did? One wouldn’t have to reveal confidential details. We know little of why David felt abandoned when he wrote Psalm 22, he just says he felt abandoned.

Maybe we think we ought to model “proper” prayer, prayer that is positive and uplifting, not negative. But what is more proper and more uplifting than the confidence of knowing we can lay our hearts bare before God, telling him exactly what we feel, for he already knows it anyway even when we don’t tell him. If “Proper” prayer becomes laying the hearts we think we should have before God, rather than the hearts we have, it is a deception.


Apart from me you can do nothing

I've thought how when Scripture says "every" or "all", or similarly when it says "never" or "nothing", it is often a challenge to consider what it actually means. When Jesus says in John 15 that we must abide in him because apart from him we can do nothing, what does the "nothing" mean?

Does it mean that anyone who isn't in Christ is a paraplegic, unable to move? Obviously not. But that is the most apparent plain meaning of "apart from me you can do nothing" that comes to mind.

If we look at the context, he is talking about bearing spiritual fruit. "No branch can bear fruit by itself ... Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me."

Here is my attempt at stating what it means. "Apart from me, your life will just not work right. Your triumphs will be too empty, your defeats too upsetting, and your abilities to endure and persevere will not get you to the end of your messy situations."

Ezekiel's vision explained

At church we're starting a Bible study in the book of Ezekiel. We discussed chapter 1 last night, where Ezekiel describes his vision of the four beings with four faces, and God seated upon the throne above them. Before we started, I asked our pastor if he was going to explain what the four faces (man, lion, ox, and eagle) meant. He laughed, but in the end he did. He showed how so often in chapter 1 Ezekiel used the phrases "looked like," "something like," or "the appearance like." He said this showed how Ezekiel was seeing something he didn't have words to describe really. He had to make analogies and comparisons. And ultimately, that is the real explanation -- when Ezekiel saw the glory of the presence of God, it was literally indescribable. He had to use a variety of analogies and comparisons to try to capture it. "It was kind of like this, and at the same time like this." We don't understand, but that is the point. The fullness of God is something we cannot understand, at least not in this life.

Another thing that impressed me was the complexity of the vision. Most of the description has to do with the four beings, which I assume are archangels. God is the one seated on the throne, the brilliant figure like glowing metal or like light. Why did Ezekiel spend more time describing the archangels than God? Another aspect of asserting the reality of God's presence is indescribable, I'm sure. But also, it shows that God's vision or presence is more complicated than we often give credit for. The four archangels are there, not because God needs their help to move his throne around, but because he graciously has given them a role to play in participating with and enjoying his glory. The glory of the presence of God is not God in splendid isolation because no one else can compare with Him, but God surrounded by a worshipping community. God the One and Only, yes. But God the One and Only who brings His creation into community and graciously gives them roles in celebrating who He is.

Ezekiel Chapter 1

Permanent vs momentary grace

The other day I was reminded of Jeremiah 2:13:
“My people have committed two sins:

I think much of the dynamic of the spiritual life is we long for and seek permanent good conditions; a cistern so full of water that we can never drain it dry. But God wants to train us to trust him for momentary good conditions, to see that he is a spring that never runs dry. We often ask God to give us a whole and full cistern, but he wants us to learn he is the ever faithful spring, the constant giver of ever new moments of grace.

Love-hate for the promises?

A blogger I'm following, Lisa McKay, said a startling thing: she has a love-hate relationship with Paul's promise that "in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”

 How dare she say that? What's wrong with her? And yet, in a fallen world where we are all still groaning, with the rest of creation for our full redemption, maybe she's right. How can you not struggle with the promises of God if you are not either ignoring what the promises really say, or ignoring what is really going on in your world?

 Lisa has had three medical crises this year, any one of which would be a significant challenge. First, her one year old son broke his leg and was in a cast for over a month. Now, she has a broken foot and her husband needs major back surgery. And that brings up Paul's promise in Romans. What is the good in this?

 “Oh yeah?" her rebellious self wants to ask, "What about drunk driving and cancer and war? What about kids dying in Syria and Sudan and movie theaters in Colorado? Huh? Just try to talk to me about good in all of that."

 "And yet," she writes, "Great hope lies in those words, doesn’t it? Even when I’m feeling confused and resentful I can still often draw solace from that promise. I can’t believe that statement blindly, without doubt or questions, but I guess you could say I believe it enough to draw strength from it – to trust that dark clouds will be gilded with silver. Somehow. Eventually."

 This paradox is what I wanted to describe in Covenant of Hope. In the messy situation of a church splitting in two, Jim and Sophie can't figure out how this is happening. Jim was tempted to think there must be a quick fix, if he just had the right kind of faith, but that didn't work either. Yet Jim, Sophie and the others learned to have hope in God's promises, even in their mess.

 Lisa wrote a novel about hope in messy circumstances -- actually "messy" is an understatement. In her My Hands Came Away Red, a young woman goes on a short term mission trip hoping to find solace for the confusion she feels about her personal life, but instead she sees people being killed for their religion. The short-termers have to flee into the jungle for their own safety. Some days later they safely return to the capital city and fly out back to their North American homes, but the heroine is shaken by the experience and weeks later has not got over it. The story ends with her still knowing she's not over what happened, yet she has hope someday she will be over it.

 I think this kind of story is quite realistic, and unfortunately rather rare in contemporary evangelical fiction. We have many stories where whatever difficulties arise are resolved by the end. Scripture does have stories where a problem is suddenly resolved by God's power. But it also has stories of thousands of years of waiting, of people believing in promises yet not receiving what they had hoped for, because the fruition comes much later. Do we prepare ourselves to have that kind of faith?

Jeremiah's secrets of the heart


Jeremiah wrote one of the most pessimistic assessments of the human heart: “the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?” (Jer 17:9) But Jeremiah also records how committed God is to renewing our hearts. “I will give them a heart to know I am the Lord … they shall return to me with their whole heart.” Jer 24:7. The promise of the New Covenant (Jeremiah, 31:31-35) is that God will write his law on our hearts.

A surprising contrast. But I think the take-away is we can trust our hearts to God and we need to trust our hearts to God. We can ask him for his help to cure the deceit, and guide our hearts to the place God wants. We can cry out to God with what is in our hearts, because he knows our hearts yet does not reject them. 

Is God your problem solver?

Most people conceive of God as a miraculous problem solver. Believers have faith he will solve their problems as they come, unbelievers don't believe such a wondrous person exists since there are so many problems in the world.

In Scripture we do see God miraculously solving problems. We also see God leading people into problems, and using problems to refine them. God can suddenly lift a problem out of my life, but also (and I think this is more common) he gives me the courage and hope to carry on in the face of the problem.

How can we better celebrate God the giver of peace in the midst of problems?

Thorns: faith in really trying circumstances

I've just watched the video of Steve Saint talking about having hope in his recent paralysis.
He recited a poem called "Thorn" by Martha Snell Nicholson who apparently lived for years with four different chronic diseases, but kept hope in God.
That reminded me of another video by Jennifer Bute who has Alzheimers and considers it a gift of God. I have a hard time imagining finding contentment while losing your memory, but she shows it's possible.

This makes me think I've only begun to scratch the surface in learning to find joy and contentment in God in difficult circumstances. But I suppose I should find hope in that. Life isn't always pleasant, but I can find joy. Life could get a lot worse, but I could still find joy. May I remember that.


Jennifer Bute Introductory video, Website
 The Thorn poem
Steve Saint's recent testimony

The dangers of a single story

Video: The danger of a single story
We watched this video presentation a couple of days ago at work. Chimamanda Adichie, a Nigerian novelist, tells how the first books she loved to read were about British schoolchildren with blue eyes playing in the snow and enjoying ginger beer, and then tells how when she went to the US to study, her roommate assumed she wouldn't know how to use a stove because all she'd heard about Africa was the story of famine and poverty. She says just knowing one single story about another country or another people is a great weakness.

I wonder if in church we aren't guilty of presenting a single story. The story that we've all arrived, we're all OK now. The story that God has solved all our major problems because we're mature Christians.

But Scripture celebrates people who reached the end of their lives believing God would do something, but hadn't yet seen it:

Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated—  the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.
These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, Hebrews 11:36-39
Scripture tells the story of Peter, who one terrible day asserts that he'd never known Jesus, but then Jesus forgives him, not just forgives him but restores him to leadership. Or the story of John, who before writing inspiring verses that God is love, wanted to call down fire from heaven on people who didn't want to listen. Luke 9:54.

So let's present all the stories God tells in our lives. The stories that even now we may struggle, wonder what God is doing, but don't go away because there is nowhere else to go. The stories how we have not arrived yet, but we're still traveling in hope, trusting that God will do great things even when we don't know when he'll do them.

Gospel conflict


Some thoughts about conflict in light of the Gospel:

The world seeks status and power. “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them." (Luke 22:24).
How people lord it over others:
Compel: force others to do your will
Silence: forbid others to speak.
Expel: drive opponents out of the organization, out of the country
Shame: who are you to question? All of us, all right thinking X people agree”
Maneuver: steal the election, time the vote, be the last one to edit the document, see the boss, or be the first one to see the boss.
The powerless also have fleshly reactions to their leaders. These consist of:
Bitterness, scorn or sarcasm
Ignoring directives, avoiding contact
Passive-aggressive sabotage: deliberately implementing something in a way you know won't work, while saying it was what you were asked to do.
We are not to use the weapons of the world: (2 Cor 10:4)
  • “If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you.” Matthew 18:5
  • if you are offering your gift at the altar and remember that your brother has something against you, … go and be reconciled to your brother Matthew 5:23
The Gospel method: go, in humility listen to your brother, and in humility and gentleness explain.
Ephesians 4:1,2
… “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.”
Be ready to forgive. “Forgive your brother seventy times seven times”.
Why listen and explain?
  1. If you are right, you might persuade your brother. Chances are he won’t be persuaded if he is compelled, silenced, shamed or maneuvered. If you expel him, are you sure God did not call him to this task as well as you?
  2. If you are wrong: a private conversation is the least stressful way to find this out.
Remember, God calls fallible people to fulfill his purposes. That’s why you are involved. We are to have confidence not in who we are but in who we are in Christ. Who Christ can make us to be. Have confidence also in who your brother and sister are in Christ.
Do not compel, silence, expel, shame or maneuver within the body. Listen and explain. Pray for one another.
Two Scriptural examples: 
Jethro visits Moses (Exodus 18)” He says to Moses “What you are doing is not good” (17) “Appoint men to be judges, they can solve the simple cases (v 21)” 
How Moses did not react:
  • Were you there when God spoke to me in the burning bush?
  • Were you there when I threw down my staff and it became a snake?
  • Were you there when God divided the sea?
        How dare you tell ME what I’m doing is not good!
No, Moses listened and in humility adopted Jethro’s advice.
The Twelve heed a complaint (Acts 6:1-7) “the Grecian Jews complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the distribution of food” 
How the Twelve did not react: “We’ve been with Jesus since the beginning. Who are you to question US?”
They said “Maybe they have a point. Besides, distributing food isn’t what we should focus on. Let’s get help.” And they appointed SEVEN GREEKS to distribute the food. They were willing to trust the frustrated minority with the task.
Do not compel, silence, expel, shame or maneuver within the body. Do not shun, write off or ignore. Listen and explain. Pray for one another. In all humility and gentleness be patient and bear with one another. Believe that the God who called you to this task also called your brother and sisters. It may be obvious to you how unqualified they are. But God has called unqualified people before and enabled them to do his work. Its actually one of his specialties.

Forgiveness stories -- Corrie Ten Boom

A very dramatic forgiveness story from Corrie Ten Boom's book The Hiding Place. She was a Dutch woman who was arrested by the Nazis during World War II for hiding Jews. She and her sister were in a concentration camp together, her sister died and then she was released. Two years after the war she is touring Germany speaking on how God forgives. One day she meets one of her guards from the concentration camp.
He came up to me as the church was emptying, beaming and bowing.  “How grateful I am for your message, Fraulein.” he said.  “To think that, as you say, He has washed my sins away!”
His hand was thrust out to shake mine.  And I, who had preached so often to the people in Bloemendaal the need to forgive, kept my hand at my side.
Even as the angry, vengeful thoughts boiled through me, I saw the sin of them.  Jesus Christ had died for this man; was I going to ask for more?  Lord Jesus, I prayed, forgive me and help me to forgive him.
I tried to smile, I struggled to raise my hand.  I could not.  I felt nothing, not the slightest spark of warmth or charity.  And so again I breathed a silent prayer.  Jesus, I cannot forgive him.  Give me Your forgiveness.
As I took his hand the most incredible thing happened.  From my shoulder along my arm and through my hand a current seemed to pass from me to him, while into my heart sprang a love for this stranger that almost overwhelmed me.
I appreciate her conclusion:
And so I discovered that it is not on our forgiveness any more than on our goodness that the world’s healing hinges, but on His.  When He tells us to love our enemies, He gives, along with the command, the love itself. 

Forgiveness stories -- Robert E. Lee

One of my personal heroes of the Civil War is Robert E. Lee. Not because of what he did during the war, but for what he did afterwards. After surrendering to Grant, he wondered what to do with the rest of his life, and actively discouraged people from attempting to continue the struggle for southern independence as guerrillas in the wilderness. A former governor of Virginia was angry with his son when his son took the oath of loyalty to the United States, but when the son replied that General Lee recommended it, the father withdrew his objection.

Lee was offered the job of president of  Washington college (currently named Washington  and Lee University) in Virginia. After Ulysses Grant was elected President, one of the students made some public remarks insulting Grant. Lee summoned the student to his office and said if he didn't withdraw his comments about the President of the United States, "either you or I will leave this university."  I can easily imagine a different speech. "You think you have a problem with Ulysses Grant? I had to surrender to him!"

Even during the war Lee showed signs of a forgiving spirit. At the end of the battle of Gettysburg, a wounded Union soldier saw Lee riding nearby, and shouted (to taunt Lee) "Long live the Union!" Lee got off his horse, went to the man and wished him a full recovery from his wounds. The man wrote that the compassion in Lee's eyes made quite an impression on him.

Perhaps the most dramatic story of Lee's forgiving spirit is a story we aren't quite sure really happened, or if it happened, how to interpret it. The story is that in 1865, between the time of his surrender to Grant and his taking the job at Washington College, he was in church one Sunday. The congregation was shocked when a black man came forward to take communion at the end of the service. Blacks were expected to take communion in the balcony, not at the front altar. The minister hesitated, Lee went forward, and the congregation were relieved, thinking he'd put this black in his place. But instead Lee knelt beside the black man, and the minister was obliged to continue serving communion, accepting the black man's presence at the main altar.
This story is it is missing from the four volume biography of Lee written by Douglas Southall Freeman, a famous Virginian historian. It is also missing from Robert E. Lee Jr's memoir of his father's life. The oldest source for it was written in the early 1900's, 40 years after it happened. In that version, Lee's action wasn't interpreted as welcoming the black man to the front altar, it was depicted as a superior white gentleman ignoring and shunning the black man who didn't know his place.

Forgiveness stories

I have a warm spot in my heart for stories of people who forgave others. Here are three that impress me.

Peggy Covell
In the 1930s an American missionary family working in Japan decided to move to the Philippines because Japan felt dangerous for westerners. Their daughter Peggy moved back to the US for college, then World War II broke out and Japan invaded the Philippines. The Covells withdrew into the interior but the Japanese found them almost two years later, and executed them as suspected American spies. Peggy heard the news and struggled with bitterness, but realized her mom and dad in their last hours probably prayed to forgive their executioners. How could she do any less?

She volunteered at a prison camp for Japanese prisoners, befriended the prisoners and did many kindnesses for them. When they asked why she was kind to them, she told how her parents had been killed and she wanted to show love, not seek revenge.

Jacob DeShazer
Jacob DeShazer was in the US Army Air Corps and volunteered for the Doolittle raid on Tokyo in 1942. His plane crash landed in Japan and he was captured. His anger against the Japanese grew during his time in prison, until he was given a Bible, read it, and gave his life to Christ. He promised God he'd come back to Japan as a missionary after the war if he survived. In 1949 he was back in Japan distributing tracts about how he'd learned to forgive during the war.

Mitsuo Fuchida
The Japanese naval pilot who led the attack on Pearl Harbor lived through the war, then wondered what to do with the rest of his life. A friend of his had been prisoner in the US and known Peggy Covell, and in 1948 he saw DeShazer's pamphlet about forgiving his captors. He began to read the Bible, and saw Jesus' words "Father, forgive them, they don't know what they do" as the inspiration that had moved both Covell and DeShazer. He became a Christian, served as an evangelist, and became good friends with DeShazer.

Read more:
Peggy Covell:  http://www.potsdam-naz.org/sermons/covell.htm
Jacob DeShazer: http://jacobdeshazer.com/
Mitsuo Fuchida: http://www.biblebelievers.com/fuchida1.html

Parable of the foolish farmer

Matthew 13:3-8, Mark 4:4-8, Luke 8:4-9
Why waste seed on the path, on the shallow soil, on the weed choked soil? But God does. He doesn't worry about running out of seed, he wants to maximize the harvest. 


I think the real point is what kind of soil are we? Do we receive the Word and let it grow in our hearts?

The Savior and Private Ryan

It's been years since I watched Saving Private Ryan, but the end bugs me. Captain Miller (Tom Hanks' character) says to Private Ryan as he dies, "Earn this!" Then it flashes forward to Ryan as an old man asking his wife if he was a good man, then crying at Miller's grave.

My question is, did Ryan cry at Millers grave because he remembered with gratitude that Miller had laid down his life to save him? Or was he crushed by the burden of those last words? Would anything he ever did be good enough (unless he laid down his life for someone else) to deserve what Miller had done?

When Jesus laid down his life for us, he never said "Earn this!" He said, "Remember me, remember this, until I come again." Maybe the difference sounds subtle, but I think it is huge. We can never earn the gift Jesus gave us, we shouldn't even think of trying. But we can remember all our lives that Jesus laid down his life for us, and now wants to give us his life to live through us.

Remembering God

Now I remember what I had learned, that you look on me with compassion, not just for the great crises but in the ordinary awkwardness of life. Life, this intricate gift of yours that I often get wrong, pursue a momentary comfort or distraction rather than embrace and ask for your grace in this day, these circumstances you've given.

Forgive me when I doubt that prayer works when I look at life and see so much you haven't fixed yet, as if fixing was all you do. Remind me of those moments when I've known the peace of your presence standing with me in the unfixed mess; when I've said "I don't know why I should feel OK in this, because its so obviously not OK, but you're here with me, and the OKness of your presence is greater than the nonOKness of this circumstance.

Meditating on the Lord's Prayer -- complete

Our Father who is in heaven,
the Holy One, the Father of all Fathers, There, in heaven, You are intangible, yet not distant. Master of that unseen realm where our happiness will be complete, where the current hints of goodness in our hearts will be fulfilled and made whole, our contradictory desires reconciled, and the current ravages of evil in our hearts will be cleansed and removed.

May your Name be holy
Your name is holy, I cannot make it holy, but may I understand how holy it is, may I set myself to living out the awareness of Your holiness. May I remember that as often as you grant me success and keep me from failure, my success or my failure does not really add or detract from your wondrous nature or the glories of your plans.

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
May your agenda, your mystery of reconciling all peoples in Christ go forward today. May there be a measurable step in that direction this day. May your intricate plan to overrule the powers and practices of this world advance and spread. May the secret of the eternal Word lovingly written on each heart, no matter how weak or lowly or despised, advance until the awareness of You fills the world as the waters fill the sea.

Give us this day our daily bread
Today I have new needs. Give me today what I need today. Grant me wisdom to see that I need you again today. Grant me understanding when you supply my needs but not my wants.

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us
Remind me my worst enemy is not my fellow human, but my own heart marching to the old music of autonomy and the refusal to admit dependence. I yet believe the old old story that all will be well if I could have what I want. Remind me that the one I call enemy is as loved by You as I am, and that if I understood his circumstances, I might understand what he does. Grant me the wisdom to see where I'm not any better than he.

Lead  us not into temptation
The publicity of this seen world would draw me in still if I did not pay careful attention. Give me the clarity of a mind longing for that unseen realm, already tasting the life of the world to come

But deliver us from evil
I am not yet strong enough to bear much adversity as I await your deliverance, grant that I not be overcome. But as I have reminded You of my weakness, remind me of Your strength in my weakness.

For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever
Once there, in that realm, the torments and difficulties of this world will be like a bad dream that I start forgetting as soon as I wake up

Meditating on the Lord's Prayer 5

Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us Remind me my worst enemy is not my fellow human, but my own heart marching to the old music of autonomy and the refusal to admit dependence. I yet believe the old old story that all will be well if I could have what I want. Remind me that the one I call enemy is as loved by You as I am, and that if I understood his circumstances, I might understand what he does. Grant me the wisdom to see where I'm not any better than he.

Meditating on the Lord's Prayer 4

Give us this day our daily bread
Today I have new needs. Give me today what I need today. Grant me wisdom to see that I need you again today. Grant me understanding when you supply my needs but not my wants.

Meditating on the Lord's Prayer 3

Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven
May your agenda, your mystery of reconciling all peoples in Christ go forward today. May there be a measurable step in that direction this day. May your intricate plan to overrule the powers and practices of this world advance and spread. May the secret of the eternal Word lovingly written on each heart, no matter how weak or lowly or despised, advance until the awareness of You fills the world as the waters fill the sea.

Meditating on the Lord's Prayer 2

May your name be holy
Your name is holy, I cannot make it holy, but may I understand how holy it is, may I set myself to living out the awareness of Your holiness. May I remember that as often as you grant me success and keep me from failure, my success or my failure does not really add or detract from your wondrous nature or the glories of your plans.

Meditating on the Lord's prayer

Our Father in heaven
O Holy One, the Father of all Fathers, There, in heaven, you are intangible, yet not distant. Master of that unseen realm where our happiness will be complete, where the current hints of goodness in our hearts will be fulfilled and made whole, our contradictory desires reconciled and the current ravages of evil in our hearts will be cleansed and removed.

A praise and a prayer

God, I asked you to mentor me, and you did.
You taught me to claim your promises, not complain they aren't fulfilled.
You hold me together when circumstances threaten to break me,
You lead me to peace instead of perplexity.
You make more of me than I can of myself.
I trust myself to you again.
Give me your joy, remind me of your presence and how much I need it.

Am I in charge of my prayer life?

Of course not. It ought to be an absurd question. Who am I? Finite, easily distracted, selfish even in my best moments: "Oh, look at me! Aren't I being so good! Why doesn't anyone notice?" Who is God? Infinite in love, power and wisdom, Creator and Lord of all that exists. Who is best qualified to be the senior partner in this relationship? He is.

And yet, Scripture doesn't assume we can be passive in prayer. When the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray, Jesus didn't say just show up and listen to the Father. Jesus taught them a model prayer, that they could memorize and recite, and we are still using it. Why would Jesus give us a model prayer if it were not up to us most of the time to set the agenda for our conversations with God? Why does Paul "urge" in 1 Timothy 2 "that prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for everyone, – for kings and all those in authority?" The urging shows we decide what we say in our prayer times. God entrusts us with the initiative in prayer. I think this is because in this life where faith in the unseen is so important ("without faith it is impossible to please God"), God limits how much he shows himself in our experience to leave room for faith.

I have heard people talk about the importance of listening to God in prayer. I can't say that I have a lot of experience with this. I believe I've heard God speak audibly or almost audibly once. (Whether it was an actual audible sound, or merely a strong impression in my mind is not something I fret about). But my usual experience of dialog with God is my mind "generating" his voice based on what Scriptures come to mind and how I judge they apply. And I suspect this is probably the normal experience for most Christians on this side of eternity.

Another paradox

Scripture informs us that the greatest and most powerful being in the universe loves us and is on our side. Yet it adds that this great, powerful and loving being is not always greatly concerned about our ease and comfort.

The great lover of our souls sometimes is disturbingly slow in giving us what we want. Worse, he sometimes gives us the exact opposite of what we want. The most deserving soul that ever lived had his life cut short by a wicked and barbaric execution. Yet then he came out of the grave.

In our lives God can demonstrate great power and intricate planning to suddenly lift us safely out of an impending disaster, or cut short a major or minor trial. Other times he leaves us in the disaster with only a promise that it will be better in the end, and a surprising calmness that as bad as this gets, the promises are still precious. Why make promises when he could just deliver us?

What then is prayer? Going to him with all the messiness of our lives, acknowledging that the messiness is greater than our ability to distract ourselves or keep going in our own willpower, to celebrate the certainty of the promises while embracing the uncertainty of how those promises will be implemented in our here and now. And thankfulness for the unique and unpredictable path he's led us on up to now. And worship, that his greatness and love and perfection can never be celebrated enough.

It's hopeless, so hope in God

Paradoxical encouragement from Jeremiah 30:

10 “‘So do not be afraid, Jacob my servant;
do not be dismayed, Israel,’
declares the LORD.
‘I will surely save you out of a distant place,
your descendants from the land of their exile.
Jacob will again have peace and security,
and no one will make him afraid.
11 I am with you and will save you,’
declares the LORD.
...
12 “This is what the LORD says:
“‘Your wound is incurable,
your injury beyond healing.
13 There is no one to plead your cause,
no remedy for your sore,
no healing for you.
14 All your allies have forgotten you;
they care nothing for you.
...
17 But I will restore you to health
and heal your wounds,’
declares the LORD,
‘because you are called an outcast,
Zion for whom no one cares.’"

This seems paradoxical. If Jeremiah wants to encourage the people not to be afraid, why does he say that their wound is incurable? Or why does he say the wound is incurable, then say God will restore them to health and heal their wounds? Did Jeremiah forget what he was writing from one verse to the next?

But I conclude the negativity of verse 12 in the overall context of hope makes sense. I'm almost tempted to call it a hopeful hopelessness.

Your wounds are incurable. You really need God's grace. Not just a small touch of grace but the complete course; major surgery, complete replacement, a brand new life from the factory. You can stop pretending you've got it almost all together, you just need help on one or two little details.

Jeremiah goes on that "your allies" won't be there for you. The "if only" won't happen, or if it does it won't make the difference you think it will. But God will be there. The maker of something out of nothing, the power who brings life back out of death is on your case. That's what you really need, and that's what you've really got.

Why did Jesus die on Passover?

Jesus' death on the cross was the fulfillment of the Jewish sacrificial laws. He was the perfect lamb of God sacrificed to take away our sins.

That raised a question in my mind ome time ago. Why did Jesus die on Passover? Why didn't the crucifixion happen on the Day of Atonement?

Here's my thought: Passover is the day the old covenant began. So Jesus initiates the new covenant on Passover, because Passover is the day for covenants.

Psalm 22 revisited

Just over a year ago, I was quite impressed with Psalm 22. How great it is that Scripture shows us that we can present our raw emotions to God. Faith does not mean always wearing a happy face.

Then I looked at it again tonight and noticed something new. Here is how it begins:
For the director of music. To the tune of "The Doe of the Morning." A psalm of David.
1 My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from my cries of anguish?
2 My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, but I find no rest.
3 Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the one Israel praises.

What caught my eye was the introduction, "For the director of music. To the tune of 'The Doe of the Morning.' " This is not just a spontaneous cry of pain from a moment David couldn't handle it anymore. This was a carefully rehearsed liturgical event. He picked out the tune the praise band would play as he poured out his heart to God. Maybe they needed to rehearse it several weeks before the performance.

How often in our worship do we express we have pain in our lives, but trust God is with us in it? Why do we think worship always has to be positive? It's pretty clear David wouldn't agree with that idea.

My earlier post on Psalm 22

God's love, the glory and the pain

God loves us and has a wonderful plan for our lives.

That is the simple summary of the Gospel many of us have heard, Law 1 of the Four Spiritual Laws used for many years now by Campus Crusade.

Does this mean God just wants to bless us by giving us all we want? No.
The "wonderful plan" probably involves difficulties, hardships and trials. Why? Because the blessing God wants most to give us in his unfathomable love for us, is that we be like Christ. Giving us our selfish desires won't make us happy, it will make us bored, or whining for something else.

I was reminded of this principle by a couple of things lately. First, an excellent tweet by Paul David Tripp: "God will not forsake his sovereign plan of grace in order to deliver to you the pleasure and comfort-oriented life that you've dreamed of."

Second, I remembered the words of the song "Blessings" by Laura Story. She summarizes what we pray for, comfort, health, prosperity, then says "You love us far too much to be content with lesser things."

It can be painful to be loved by God, who accepts us right where we are but does not want to leave us there. The road to maturity, to the full glory of who he wants us to be often does lead through trials and sufferings, but let us believe that these are indeed the true blessings.

What I believe

I believe God loves me, he is with me, and I need him to be with me.
I believe God can make more of me than I can make of myself.
I believe I don't have to prove I'm right. If I am right, God will defend me.
If I'm wrong, I can admit it and ask God for help.

For the curious, this is not a complete list of what I believe, but some key things.

Promises and assumptions

God's promises are good, they bring us life and hope.

But they can be badly interpreted to yield dangerous assumptions. We can assume that God's promises mean we'll almost always be successful and most things will go well. Then when they don't, we lose faith or we panic.

Paul says "For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ." Jesus is the fulfillment of the promises. Jesus, aka Immanuel, "God with us." The most basic promise is not that we'll have pleasant circumstances, but that God will be with us in our circumstances.

So let us trust the promises, not what we assume the promises ought to mean.

Marriage and the Covenant

Several theologians and writers have written about marriage as a covenant. The latest one I've read is Tim Keller.

The marriage as covenant idea says marriage is to be viewed as a covenant between spouses, "a sacrificial commitment to the good of the other." Marriage is not a commercial contract, where you are willing to give something to get what you want, but the emphasis is on getting what you want, and you are willing to consider getting what you want from another vendor if they offer better quality or a better price.

This idea of marriage as a covenant shed a new light on Jeremiah's promise of the New Covenant. There's an odd phrase at the end of verse 32, "because they broke my covenant, though I was a husband to them.". Jeremiah 31:32

Jeremiah says God is the husband who resolves to stay committed and to make the covenant relationship work. If ever anyone could have said "You're not meeting my needs," or "We've grown apart," that would be God. But he doesn't start all over again with a new people, he keeps the ones he's chosen.

May God inspire us to faithfulness in our covenant relationships.

Thank you God

Thank you God. You speak truth, not in an archaic or dead sacred language that I have to memorize how it is pronounced, but in words I can understand. May those who do not understand come to understand.

Who am I?

In human terms, incomplete, puzzled, not fully understood. Others don't understand me. But a simplistic "to my own self be true" view is not the answer. The world doesn't understand me, but I understand myself all too well. I make too many excuses why I don't live up to my potential.

But in God's terms, I am loved, a valuable soul in process. He has committed himself to bring out my greatness. This maturing and forming process is a combination of hearing the inner cries of my heart, and also encouraging me to listen.

And so are you, my reader, a valuable soul in process. I wish you to understand the challenge and the depth of God's love for you.

We are each alone

One morning before a family reunion, I worried it would be superficially pleasant but not all that interesting. Who in my extended clan is really like me? I grew up in California, they grew up on the east coast. I’ve worked for years in Africa, none of them have. What do I have in common with them?

What if, I then wondered, I was not alone in feeling alone? I knew my list why the others were different. Did they each have their own list? They could well have. We are each unique, no one really knows anyone just like them.

It came to me: We are each alone. We each bear the privilege and the awkwardness or loneliness of being the only one of ourselves. It is God and God alone who knows us totally and perfectly, and who really understands. Sometimes other humans do understand, that is a blessing. But when they do not, should that be such a surprise?

What reminded me of this: Bruce B linked to a blogger I hadn't read before.

The simple Gospel I don't believe in

What I'd like to believe, but it isn't true:
Just have faith, and all your problems will be solved, all your wants will be satisfied.

The gospel I do believe in:
God is with you. As messy as life gets (and it does get messy), He is always with you and helps you endure.

A good reminder -- happiness comes from God

We think some external thing, status or experience will make us happy. God says we cannot be happy in ourselves, happiness is a relationship with him.

If we think "If only I could do, or be, or have something -- then I'd be happy," we haven't understood yet.

With God, we'll be OK, even if we are poor, sick, mistreated or abandoned. Without God, even getting all we want won't make us happy.

This post inspired by Ray Ortlund's blogpost.

Someone I don't envy

Picture this: you're 23 years old, in the second year of your first job out of college. You have a bad day at the office, make two big mistakes. Yet your job is such that your mistakes occurred on nationwide TV and get replayed over and over again, and will be replayed again for years to come. Half the country now knows your name as a classic blunderer, you've received death threats on Twitter. How would you feel?

I've made mistakes in my work answering computer questions. "I can't believe I forgot that I can't install X before I install Z" or "Duh! That's not the password for this account!" Once I opened someone's computer to take out the hard drive to copy files elsewhere, and the hard drive data cable came apart in my fingers. I had to order a new data cable and she was without her computer for a week while waiting for it to arrive. I didn't become a national figure of disdain.

But Kyle Williams, wide receiver and temporary punt returner for the San Francisco 49ers, is now infamous for two turnovers on punts in one game. Kyle, I appreciate your brave words about bouncing back and learning from it. I'm glad you feel the support of your teammates. Patrick Willis and David Akers, congrats on showing real team spirit and holding up Kyle right now.

And all this is just one more reason why the Apostle Peter told us to set our hope fully on the grace coming to us when Jesus Christ is revealed. Don't set your hope on winning or on never making a mistake, you can't guarantee that will happen. I hope Kyle gets another chance in a playoff game. But there's no guarantee that will happen. What is guaranteed? The love and promises of God.

Update: Reportedly, the New York Giants targeted Williams for hard hits, hoping to give him a concussion so he'd make mistakes. . Something's wrong with football if this is how the game is really played.