God is the answer

"I know now, Lord, why you utter no answer. You are yourself the answer. Before your face questions die away."

C. S. Lewis, Till We Have Faces.

How often we think of questions we want to ask God when we get to heaven. I wonder if we think enough about whether our questions will still be relevant after the transition. Or if the questions don't die away when we see him, their emotional tone would be completely different. Instead of "Why did you allow X?" in a tone of "You'd better have a good explanation;" we might ask "Why did you allow X?" in a tone of "What gave you the idea that X could be made to work out as well as you worked it out?"

God with me

When life is hard, I have a choice. I can believe God has forgotten me, otherwise this hard thing would never have happened. Or I can believe in this hard time that God is with me even when I don't feel His presence.

There is a related choice. When life is hard, and I've prayed to God for help and it hasn't gotten easier: I can believe God doesn't care about this difficulty and wants me to cope on my own, otherwise he would have fixed it. Or I can believe that something precious and new can happen in my heart when I express to him the difficulties I am feeling.

When Psalm 23 says that God prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies, I think it means that we can be blessed even in the presence of difficulty. The blessing is the peace God gives in the midst of the difficulty.

Emotional honesty in prayer

The point of my posts about prayer as a Panther's fan (part 1 and part 2) was to say I should be honest with God about my emotions.

Here are some other encouragements I've found to be emotionally honest in prayer.

1) Psalm 22. We usually read it as a prophecy of Jesus' agony on the cross. It is that, and more, I think. "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me?" When it really really hurts, saying so to God is not a lack of faith, but is the response of faith. The Psalmist tells God "I feel really, really alone" then reminds himself who God is and that this feeling of abandonment won't last forever.

2) The song "Never Alone" by Barlow Girl. (listen here). "I waited for you today, but you didn't show", followed by "I'll hold fast to what I know, you're here and I'm never alone." The same cycle of expressing the feeling of abandonment then reminding yourself God is with you that David shows in Psalm 22.

3) A quote from Augustine's Confessions in the 4th century.

It is then our affections which we lay open unto Thee, confessing our own miseries, and Thy mercies upon us, that Thou mayest free us wholly, since Thou hast begun, that we may cease to be wretched in ourselves, and be blessed in Thee;

I'd paraphrase those words like this: "We lay our emotions open to you, confessing our weaknesses and difficulties, that you might free us wholly; trusting not our own ability to manage our feelings, but your ability to manage our feelings."

4. From the Westminster Catechism:

Q. 98. What is prayer?
A. Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, for things agreeable to his will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of his mercies.

5. Speaker Sy Rogers describes a dialog with God about his evil thoughts: "Why don't you do with your filthy nasty thoughts what you have never dared do. Why don't you just admit them and submit them to me." (The part I'm quoting starts just after 3:00 in the video.)

Compassion

Compassion cries aloud in the Walmart lobby, at the busy intersection.
"Open your eyes, people. Get this if nothing else. That person you see, who annoys you, who's in your way, who doesn't get you. They too have a life, the same texture of surprising joys and harrowing sorrows as yours. Their purpose in life is not to ease your pain or make your life better. If they do encourage you, celebrate it. If they do not, are they in need of encouragement? You would not measure your life by how well you've helped them, why measure theirs by how well they have helped you?"

Why do we pray when God already knows what we need?

One reason: to express our love for the God who loves us. We admit our faults and weaknesses to him, so that he might advance this day the work he has begun in us, that we might yet become like him in character, longing more for his truth, justice and love than we do for our own comfort and pleasure.

The above is an adaptation of something I found the other day in Augustine's Confessions.

I have already said, and shall say, for the love of Thy love do I this. For we also pray, and yet Truth says, “Your Father knoweth what things ye have need of before ye ask Him.” (Matt. 6:8) Therefore do we make known unto Thee our love, in confessing unto Thee our own miseries and Thy mercies upon us, that Thou mayest free us altogether, since Thou hast begun, that we may cease to be wretched in ourselves, and that we may be blessed in Thee; since Thou hast called us, that we may be poor in spirit, and meek, and mourners, and hungering and athirst after righteousness, and merciful, and pure in heart, and peacemakers.

Prayer of a Panthers fan II

If you missed part 1 click here.
In January 2009, the Panthers were in the playoffs again. They’d won a first round bye and had home field advantage. Their game against the Arizona Cardinals started well, with a score on their first drive. Then the Cardinals scored 33 unanswered points, while the Panther’s offense sputtered with fumbles and interceptions. The final score was 33-13. “Lord,” I thought, “You know I’ve learned my lesson about honesty in prayer. Why are they getting drubbed again?”

There was no hesitation this time about practicing what I’d learned. And the Lord brought to mind another aspect. He led me to pray for Jake Delhomme, the Panthers’ quarterback. While it is true that I’ve been watching football since before he was born, he didn’t need to hear from me to know he’d had a bad game. While I was disappointed in the game, he must feel devastated. What was it like to have a really really bad day on nationwide TV? Then to have reporters wanting to know how bad you felt and fans clamoring for your resignation? I didn’t know, and I hope I never have to find out. But I could attempt in my prayers to echo the compassion of Christ towards him, and I did.

That next morning before going to church, I posted a Facebook note about my 2006 prayer lesson, the previous nights disappointment, and a prayer for Jake Delhomme that the Lord would comfort him and that we fans would be merciful in our disappointment. At church that morning, I felt joy that my note had pleased God.
This year, the Panthers have an 0-5 start. Jake is with the Cleveland Browns this year, and they’re at 1-4 (and Jake's been injured and hasn't played much). Before the season started, I had a daydream that the Panthers would meet the Browns for the NFC championship. It doesn’t look like that will happen–the Lord continues to work in mysterious ways. But I have a warm spot in my heart for the Panthers and for Jake Delhomme, they have been God’s agents in teaching me a good lesson: Honesty to God in prayer about what we are feeling is a good thing.

Prayer of a Panthers fan

The Panthers aren't doing well this season. This reminds me of a story ...

January 22, 2006: Why can’t I stop brooding about a stupid football game?
An hour earlier I’d turned off the TV disappointed at the Carolina Panther’s dismal showing in the NFC championship game. The 34-14 score said it all. I hadn’t expected the Panthers to make it to the Super Bowl when the playoffs started, but they’d done well in the first two rounds. Then this night against the Seahawks they had been completely flat.

If left to myself that night, I would have done one of two things. I could have gone to bed, trusting that in the morning I’d only feel a brief tinge of regret at the sad outcome. Or I could have gotten on the computer and rejoiced in my human skill and intelligence triumphing over the villainous yet stupid artificial intelligence that vainly sought to conquer my empire.

But I didn’t have either option. I had volunteered for security duty at my work place, which meant driving around the campus for two hours making sure every door was locked and building alarms had activated successfully. Perhaps the worst thing to do when you’ve just seen a disappointing football game and want to take your mind off of it.

But I really couldn’t believe how bummed I was feeling about the game. Why did it affect me so? First, I’m an intellectual. I know better than to get caught up in these mindless spectacles of popular culture. Second, I’d only lived in North Carolina for eight years, I was hardly a life-long Panthers fan. Now if the San Francisco 49ers had a really bad game in the playoffs, I might conceivably feel a brief pang of regret.

The thought came to offer my feelings of frustration and regret to God in prayer, and ask for his help. I dismissed the thought, this was hardly a spiritual issue. Twelve hours from now, I wouldn’t be worried at all about the game. What personal stake did I have in the outcome anyway? But I remembered an earlier reflection I'd had on prayer. No need is too big to bring before the Lord in prayer, since he is greater than any of our difficulties. But also is it not also true that no need is too small to bring before the Lord in prayer, since he calls us to live in relationship with him? Does not the Scripture say that he works in all things for good?

My skeptical mindset retorted that Paul hadn’t written that verse about football games. Could I seriously expect that when I get to heaven the Lord would show me some great blessing he worked in my life because the Panthers lost the NFC championship this day in 2006?

I decided to go with my impulse. “Lord, I know this is really trivial, but for what its worth, I’m bummed about that football game. I know I won’t be bummed about it tomorrow morning, but could you help me tonight.”

I can’t remember that my mood changed much after that prayer. There was no sudden sense of peace, and no angelic messenger brought tidings of great joy for the next season. Like I had predicted, the next morning I had only the briefest pang of regret about the game.

The next Saturday, in my quiet time, something reminded me of my prayer that evening when I was upset about the Panther’s game. I had the impression God was telling me he approved of my honesty in bringing that frustration to him in prayer. How odd, I thought, my skeptical mind had insisted that there could be no blessing coming to me from that disappointment, and yet here was a blessing.

Was there a larger lesson in this? If God values honesty in prayer, even over very short term disappointments like your team losing a game, how much more would he welcome honesty over the big issues in our heart. Yet I often fail to lay my emotions before the Lord. Why? Sometimes its my pride—the thought that I can handle this, or the desire to pretend that I’m not really upset. Or it doesn't seem like a pious thing to do, which shows I haven't been paying attention when reading the Psalms. Or else I think that since God has allowed this painful circumstance in my life, he either does not care or is not going to help me cope with the emotions.

But what if God wants to help me cope, but waits for me to ask for help? Why not level with him what I'm really feeling, since he knows I feel it anyway?